Stop Editing Yourself
Living for others doesn't make you selfless, it makes you absent
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You change how you talk depending on who’s in the room.
Not dramatically. Just small adjustments. Softer opinions around certain people. Laughing at jokes you don’t find funny. Downplaying interests others might judge. Agreeing with things you don’t actually agree with.
You call this being adaptable. But you’re not adapting to situations. You’re editing yourself out of them.
A University of Texas study tracked people who constantly adjust their behavior based on who’s watching. They found these people had more social connections but felt lonelier than people who didn’t adjust. More relationships. Less connection. Because nobody was seeing the actual person.
That’s you. Liked by people who don’t know you. And it’s making you miserable.
