Sponsor: Life at the Speed of Play
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The Idea
You probably know someone a few years ahead of you in your career who could give you genuinely useful advice. Maybe you’ve thought about reaching out a few times and decided against it because you figured they’re too busy or you haven’t quite earned the right to ask. So you keep meaning to send the message, and the weeks go by, and whatever you would have learned from that conversation just doesn’t happen.
Researchers Francis Flynn and Vanessa Bohns found that when people asked strangers for small favors in person, like borrowing a phone or filling out a form, they predicted needing about twice as many approaches as it actually took. A cold email to someone you admire is a different situation, and they may say no. But until you send it, you’re treating your guess about their answer as if it were the answer.
If there’s someone you’ve been meaning to reach out to, try making it specific and easy to say no to: “I’m working through a career decision and I’d love 15 minutes of your perspective. Completely understand if the timing doesn’t work.” Then send it before you talk yourself out of it again.
Quote
“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.” Seneca, Letters to Lucilius, 104
Question
Who have you been meaning to ask for something, and what’s the actual worst thing that happens if they say no?
Listen
Anthony O’Neal: Debt-Free Millionaire Thinks Most Rich People Are Trapped. Anthony was homeless and $35,000 in debt at 19. He’s now a #1 bestselling author and host of The Table, with more than a million subscribers.
Read
You Have More Influence Than You Think by Vanessa Bohns. Bohns is the Cornell psychologist behind the research in this newsletter. Her book explains why we often have more influence on other people than we realize.
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Scott